Baby-stepping

Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid.

But the first essential is that you begin.

Once the battle is started, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance.

-Robert Collier

I’m having better days. It’s not easy to regain the momentum I had before my very own dark ages (”ages” may be too long to describe it), but I’m bouncing back. I’ve begun to pick myself up and in the process of dusting it all off.

What brought this on? Well, it could have started when I triumphantly conquered the white paint souvenir the darned taxi left on my fender.I scrubbed the ill-feelings away using a very reliable scratch remover leaving minimal traces of the mishap. It was a a great relief. Even better that while doing so, I feel like I’ve lost a lot of calories. It was a fruitful exercise. The consequential body aches were well worth it. I am indeed fortunate, and grateful at that.

A good news brought my spirits up a notch. I have been blessed with more than what I have asked for. My cramming and sleepless night paid off. Of course, the cynic in me wormed it’s way out - that’s how stubborn I can be. I refused to see it the way others would. Then, a good friend reasoned with me, saying, “This is something good that could weigh out all the bad”, or something to that effect. And just because she has this contagious smile that can light up any room full of manic-depressive people who had no more will to live for in this lifetime, and fill their hearts with joy enough to see the beauty that the smallest things life can offer, she had me convinced. And although, all that time, I failed to help her lighten her burden, she reassured me that I did not. Her hypnotic words never missed the target. That’s what I love about her, topping the perfume she wore once that I want to have, haha.

And the icing on the cake is the presence of an old friend. Although we see each other once or twice a year due to the demands of her profession, we, anyhow, find time to multi-task together. We’re the perfect match. We meet up at the boring places doing boring stuff - a mutually acknowledged fact. But mere presence encourages us more and more to be the professional we both yearned to be. We share everything. And though we have our sad stories to tell, these stories can’t break our spirits - a wake-up call for me, indeed, exactly what I needed. It’s a friendship built through years of wisdom and experience. And that’s something we refuse to give up.  

I may have missed some details I should be thankful for. But, that doesn’t mean I failed to see the blessings I have been receiving. With a sweet friend’s gift, I have this little notebook I can note important things to be happy for. I just feel I cannot be complacent enough. At least now, I am doing something about it - doing my part, having learned a lot. I even know this may not even be over. Besides, life promises us nothing but surprises, be it good or bad. I’m still dreading the news about to come. But, not as much as I would have felt before. To surrender everything to Him placates this self-induced anxiety. It’s an effective regimen I would persistently recommend. Everybody should try it. It works more than you can imagine.